On my way with Deutsche Bahn

Currently I am driving quite often with the Deutsche Bahn.

Last Friday I had the stupid idea to visit a friend of mine. I had to drive from Essen to Heidelberg – and after the visit I left at half past eleven with a CNL – City Night Line to Berlin. We had minus 6 degrees and it was cold. If you think this sentence sounds not right – only this sentence structure can express the coldness literally.

The announcement that the CNL would arrive 60 minutes later made my heart bounce in joy and happiness. The fact that the station closed down it’s facilities made my joy even more profound. After I lost my left ear due to the cold, the CNL finally arrived…

Deep frozen as I was I entered the CNL. After figuring out that I will share my reserved 4 bed coach with a guy (and that there were 6 beds in that 4 beds coach…I wonder who can’t count at Deutsche Bahn) the conductor came to me and said: “Well, my son, this is a dark and cold cage here, but we have other appartments which are warmer – they are closer to hell fire – MUHAHAHA” Well, since I was deep frozen I found my coach warm enough and I staid there.

One hour later I fell asleep. Two hours later I woke up. My feet were glued against the window. The coach wasn’t only cold, the heating system didn’t work at all. So I had one inch ice at the windows and two inch snow at the coach doors. And not to forget the blizzard which rampaged between the coaches. If you tried to cross the border of Ice-Hell coach you were hit by the snowstorm…

Sometimes I am stubborn – and since I don’t like hell, I stayed in that coach. At 06:44 the conductor woke us up, we were scheduled to arrive at shortly past seven. I wasn’t frozen any more, I was close to 0 Kelvin, my wristwatch already a superconductor. I went to the bord bistro, which was quite hot and returned with two cold packages of chocolate drink. Then I waited another 3 hours before we actually arrived – of course in the cold coach. As I said, sometimes I am bit stubborn. But I finished a fantastic book about possible ways to torture Deutsche Bahn people on CEO level just by inviting them to some place during the winter, travelling with a City Night Line.

Update: This morning I drove back to Essen. This time the train came on time, but instead of two ICEs connected to each other, there was only one. So we were overbooked by 180%. Joy and happiness raised again in my heart and I expected more things to come. Deutsche Bahn did not disappoint me. But this is another story, so far “untaled”…


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